ENERGY OF THE WEEK – “Mazal Tov”!
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Perpetuating the Simcha
Shavuos is like the Chupah between Klal Yisroel and Hashem. So the day after Shavuos is like the time right after the Chupa.
Mazal Tov to the Kallah!!
With this in mind, there is an amazing Midrash that can change our whole relationship with the Torah that we learn, quoted in Sefer B’nei Yissaschar1:
"And he gave [the Luchos] to Moshe "k’chaloso" – when He completed [to speak to Moshe]2". Why does the Torah use the word "k’chaloso"? In addition, "k’chaloso" has the same root letters as Kallah. "Said Rabi Yehohsua Ben Levi: Anyone who speaks a D’var Torah and the words are not pleasant to the listeners like a Kallah is pleasant to her husband, better for him not to say them. Because at the time that Hakadosh Baruch Hu gave the Torah to Yisroel, it was pleasant upon them like a Kallah who is beloved to her spouse. From where? As it says: And He gave to Moshe "k’chaloso"3.
This is an amazing insight. When Hashem gave us the Torah at Har Sinai, we were similar to a Kallah, and the words of Torah were "pleasant upon us". Similarly today, when one gives over words of Torah, they need to be pleasant and beloved to the listeners like a Kallah is to her spouse.
May we be zoche to such a kind of Torah study throughout the entire year.
New Shalom Bayis Series
Since this time of year is the time of weddings for Klal Yisroel, I feel that now is the optimum time to launch a new series that has been long awaited. The name of it is "Shalom Bayis: The Most Endeared Quality", and it includes many practical tips that one can practice to help achieve Shalom in one’s Bayis. The reason it is called "The Most Endeared Quality", is because in terms of our overall goal as Jews – to achieve balance – this specific area – Shalom Bayis – is probably the greatest expression of that accomplishment possible.
Over the next little while B’ezras Hashem, I hope that each day will can present one idea or tool that can be helpful for Shalom Bayis. I hope that by the end of the series, these tools will be arranged in a decorative book form, that can be purchased and used as a reference and review by any couples who wish to do so.
I compiled these rules of Shalom Bayis with Siyata D’Shmaya, after numerous years of counseling students and couples, and after having studied many shiurim and even attending courses on this subject. The tremendous Siyayta D’Shmaya that I have seen with these rules, I have not experienced with anything else that I have written. It is now about 12 years since I originally compiled this summary, and even after using them again and again to guide tens of couples, I have basically not had to change the wording at all, except for some minor additions. Other professionals have praised these rules, and the results that were borne over the years by the students who have followed them, have Baruch Hashem proven themselves.
It is my hope and prayer that these guidelines be of help to as many couples as possible to merit in their respective homes the most endeared quality unto Hashem: "Shalom Bayis".
Hilchos Eiruv Tavshilin – Siman 527
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[See also Hichos Shavuos 1 and 2, posted on May 20 and 27 respectively.]
Basic Halachos
1. The translation of " Eiruv Tavshilin" is "to mix what is being cooked". We "combine" the cooked food that we will prepare on Yom Tov (Friday) for Shabbos, with food that we prepared already from Erev Yom Tov (Thursday) for Shabbos, so that the preparations on the day of Yom Tov (Friday) for Shabbos are not considered as the beginning of a task of preparation, but rather as the end of one (Rama seif alef).
2. L’chatchilah (in the optimum way), we make an Eiruv Tavshilin with something that is cooked and something that is baked – in order to allow for preparations both in the form of cooking and baking. B’dieved (if it was done already), it is considered enough if one made the Eiruv Tavshilin only with something cooked (Shulchan Aruch, seif Beis, Mishna Brubra seif katan heh, vav).
3. One should take a plate and place on it something cooked such as meat, fish or eggs1 at least the size of a k’zayis, and challah at least the size of a k’baitza2 (Shulchan Aruch and Rama seif gimel, Mishna Brura seif katan yud-alef). In order to beautify the mitzvah, it is appropriate to take a whole challah3 and a nice piece of fish or meat (Mishna Brura seif katan ches).
4. One should take the challah and the cooked food in his hand, and say the bracha. He should then continue and say the sentence "B’dain" [as it says in the Siddurim], in a language that he understands (Shulchan Aruch and Rama seif yud-beis).
5. It is permissible to make an Eiruv Tavshilin even during Bein Hashemashos of Erev Yom Tov (Rama seif alef).
6. The Eiruv Tavshilin must remain intact until one cooks for Shabbos. If it was eaten or lost, one may not begin to cook for Shabbos unless a k’zayis of it remains. Once the cooking for Shabbos has been completed, it is permissible to eat the Eiruv (Shulchan Aruch, seif tes-vav, tes-zayin, Mishna Brura seif katan mem-vav).
Not Such Well-Known Halachos
7. From the wording of the Rishonim and the Poskim, it is clear that one needs to hold the Eiruv in his hand at the time of the Bracha and when saying "B’dain" (Piskei Tshuvos, seif katan yud-beis).
- The Maharal would use a piece of meat (Mishna Brura seif katan yud-alef). The Ben-Ish-Chai suggests that a person should use hard-boiled eggs, because in places where it is hot, the meat will not last for two days until Shabbos (Parshas Tzav, ois alef). ↩
- L’chatchilah; but B’dieved he does not have to do the Eiruv again (Mishna Brura seif katan yud. ↩
- The Maharal would use the challah afterwards for "Lechem Mishneh" and open it at Shalosh Seudos. Since it was used already for one mitzvah, it is appropriate to use it again for another (Mishna Brura seif katan yud-alef). ↩
HALACHOS OF THE WEEK – Hilchos Shavuos – 2
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[Please see also HALACHOS OF THE WEEK - Hilchos Shavuos - 1, posted on May 2/09]
Minhagim
1. It is customary on Shavuos to eat foods made from milk (Rama siman 494, seif gimel), and honey (Mishna Brura, seif katan yud gimel).
2. According to the Rama, the reason for this minhag is to remember the "Shtei Halechem" that were brought on Shavuos in the time of the Beis Hamikdash1. We therefore eat milchig, followed by eating fleishig, and it is a halachic necessity to bring a separate challah to eat with the fleishig – because it is prohibited to use one challah for both milchig and fleishig – and through this there is a remembrance for the "Shtei Halechem" of the Beis Hamikdash (Rama seif gimel, and Mishna Brura seif katan yud-daled).
3. It is necessary to be cautious in regard to eating milk followed by meat, with all the things one is careful about throughout the year. When one desires to eat meat after milk, one must do "kinuach" (by eating anything - except for something that sticks to the gums such as dates), "hadacha" (by drinking – thereby cleaning his mouth from the remnants of food)2, and must change the tablecloth that was on the table3 (Mishna Brura seif katan tes-zayin and yud-zayin).
- According to this opinion, the challah should be made out of wheat, similar to the Shtei Halechem (Mishna Brura seif katan yud-zayin). ↩
- Yorah Deyah, siman 89, seif beis. If one ate the milchigs in such a way where there might be a substance stuck to his hands, he must also wash his hands (Ibid and Schach seif katan tes). ↩
- According to the Mishna Brura from the Magen Avrohom, it is not necessary to say Bircas Hamazon between the two meals. However, after examining the source of this halacha in Yoreah Dayah, it becomes clear that it is only appropriate to separate between the two meals by reciting Bircas Hamazon. Even if when one ate milk, he only ate Mezonos, he should also say the appropriate after-bracha before beginning the fleishig meal. In addition, it is necessary to wait an hour, or at least a half hour, between the end of the first meal and beginning of the second one. (Piskei Tshuvos seif katan yud-beis). ↩
AVODAH OF THE WEEK – See the Sounds!
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Experiencing Kabolas HaTorah
As we approach this week’s kabolas Hatorah and we recall the words of the Ari z"l – that on each one of the Yomim Tovim there is an arousing on the day of the Yom Tov itself of the original spiritual level that was revealed at the initial time of that Yom Tov1 - we realize that only through proper preparation will we be able to merit to actually experience a little bit of what took place at Matan Torah.
In previous generations when there were many tzaddikim who were on the level of Ruach Hakodesh, the reality of the words of the Ari z"l mentioned above was accepted as a basic premise. Look in Parshas Yisro how the great Tzaddik, Rabi Levi Yitzchak of Berditchov zy"a, mentions this reality just in passing as an accepted simple truth:
"And behold, if a person merits, he hears on every Chag Shavuos the Voice that proclaims "Anochi Hashem Elokecha".
May we all merit to such levels as it says in the Navi, "v’nib’ou b’neichem u’v'noseichem2", that in the future we will all merit once again to the level of Nevuah.
But even if we are not yet at that level, there is one very interesting "miracle" that we may be able to merit on this upcoming Shavuos if we prepare properly for it, something that is clearly within the realm of our avodas Hashem today.
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Bs"d by Rabbi Nachum Chaimowitz Another statement that one should just never say: 3. Never compare yourselves to any other couple. The person that Hashem has introduced and ultimately united you with, is someone who is exactly what you need in order for you to reach your highest level of completeness. Realize that [...]